Posted by: Andrew Skelton | 20/06/2012

i am the god of hellfire and i bring you

It’s a good job I don’t get swept up in excitement at all the possible projects I read on the web, if I did then I would have already built myself a home tandoor oven, created my own Ice Magic style dessert, and the latest.. built a large pit in the back garden to cook in.  Reading through the article it would appear that I have all the materials I would need if I did decide to build such an oven with the exception of Banana leaves to wrap the meat in… mind you I could always renew my membership with Kew Gardens, they must have more than enough banana leaves in their various glass houses.. oh yes, and there’s always the Eden Project.  Sadly, whilst on our travels ten years ago, despite having driven all around the North and South Islands of New Zealand we didn’t actually experience the Maori’s version of the fire pit, the Hāngi (other Pacific Island Nations have their own take on this cooking method), despite having spent so long there.  Of course the one thing that’s stopping me, apart from creating the hazard in the middle of our mini football pitch (soccer, remember, not the other type), is kindling.  I know, I know we live next to a wood and there should and in fact is, more than enough material to get the fire going, it’s the getting it going bit I have a problem with after my recent attempts at barbequing (I’ve written about it already I won’t, for once, bore you with the details).

I’m not sure such a cooking method would be a good idea at the Camp we’re going to be staying in, what with jackals, hyenas, lions, and leopards all in the vicinity, though with the river, which wends its way around the camp in a U shape separating us from the plains, there is little to no risk of any of the big cats (or dogs) finding their way into camp.  Where the river permits access to the site, by its absence, large fences have been erected to impede any creatures trying to gain access to the locale.  Lions had been close to where we were sleeping, apparently, as a kill had been spotted one morning as we drove out of the camp, but with such an early start it was missed through the mist from bleary eyes.  If the animals were clever, they’d get themselves some camera gear and pose as fellow tourists mind you, they’d better choose their gear carefully or else their cover might be blown… if they’re spotted with a Nikon, the guards will know straight way*

*tee hee, only joking (you know I don’t mean it Mark!)


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